Myka Alley: Compassion, Peace, Happy, Loved, and Alive

This Womankind feature introduces our community to Myka Alley, I Start Wondering’s web guru. She shares how she’s found resilience and compassion while facing significant health challenges throughout her life. ~Dorian Martin, Founder of I Start Wondering

Over the course of my 44 years of life, I have learned to survive fibromyalgia, a complex and often

misunderstood chronic condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Living with fibromyalgia means dealing with not only physical pain but also a myriad of other symptoms such as severe fatigue, cognitive difficulties, and sleep disturbances. 

While fibromyalgia may be a part of my life story, it does not define who I am today. Through acceptance and perseverance, I have found a way to embrace each day with gratitude and resilience, knowing that I am more than just my diagnosis. Fibromyalgia has taught me valuable lessons about strength, compassion, and the power of resilience, shaping me into the person I am today.

My Journey

Growing up as a child with a single immigrant mother had its challenges. She wanted to raise an all-American girl but didn’t have the necessary knowledge about raising a child in the traditions of the United States. 

Soon, my mother was faced with an even bigger challenge. When I was 11, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and told that I was going to be in a wheelchair by the time I was 18. I rebelled against my body and my mother. Despite the initial shock of the diagnosis, it marked the beginning of a lifelong journey into resilience and self-discovery. Living with fibromyalgia presented me with physical limitations that I had never imagined, but also sparked a newfound determination within me. 

As I navigated the complexities of managing my condition, I learned valuable lessons about perseverance, adaptability, and the strength of the human spirit. My mother, although unfamiliar with the intricacies of raising a child with disabilities, showed unwavering support and unconditional love throughout this challenging period. Together, we embarked on a quest to educate ourselves about fibromyalgia, seeking out specialists and resources that could help us better understand and cope with the condition. 

The challenging journey of managing requires patience, resilience, and a deep understanding of one's own body. Over the years, I have tried various treatments and therapies to alleviate the symptoms of fibromyalgia and improve my quality of life. From medications to alternative therapies like acupuncture and yoga, each approach has provided its benefits and challenges. Through this process, I have come to realize that managing fibromyalgia is not just about finding a quick fix but rather about adopting a holistic approach that addresses both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. 

With time, I have come to view my circumstances not as limitations but as opportunities for growth, empowerment, resilience, and the power of unconditional love. I also discovered a newfound sense of purpose through opportunities for personal and societal development in advocating for disability rights and raising awareness about invisible illnesses like fibromyalgia. 

Oh, just in case you are wondering, I beat the wheelchair and am still walking on my own. 

Here’s what I learned:

Compassion

Amidst the chaos that surrounded my family, my mother sought to provide me with an outlet to channel my energy and emotions. This led me to volunteer at The Carousel, a horse ranch dedicated to teaching individuals with disabilities, both children and adults, how to ride horses as a form of therapy.

Created by Myka Alley with AI

My time at The Carousel not only allowed me to witness the transformative power of equine therapy but also provided me with a profound realization that my diagnosis of fibromyalgia did not have to define or limit my life. I embraced the mantra that while I may have fibromyalgia, it did not have control over me.

Interacting with the clients at The Carousel instilled in me a renewed sense of hope and reinforced the importance of compassion, both towards others and towards oneself. It was a profound lesson that resonated deeply within me, reminding me of the universal need for empathy and kindness in all aspects of life.

My involvement led to my being recognized as the “Adult Volunteer of the Year for the Pikes Peak Region” in 2001. This accolade held immense significance for me as it symbolized my resilience in the face of fibromyalgia and the fact that I was not only persevering but thriving despite the challenges.

Peace

Fibromyalgia has always been a significant presence in my life, shaping my journey in ways I never anticipated. The dismissive nature of many doctors towards fibromyalgia often left me feeling neglected and undervalued, leading to a period of self-doubt and internal struggle.

Despite the daunting odds and some medical professionals’ discouraging attitudes, I found a sense of accomplishment and pride in overcoming the challenges associated with this condition. 

My question about healing and self-discovery led me to explore alternative medicine practices, delve into the intricacies of nutrition, and cultivate a deeper connection with my body. 

Through meticulous research and introspection, I gradually learned to listen to the subtle cues and signals my body was sending me by the time I was in my mid-30s, paving the way for a more holistic approach to managing my condition. This transformative journey not only empowered me to take control of my health but also instilled a newfound sense of resilience and self-awareness--or so I thought.

During the challenging times of the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself facing what I initially thought was a fibromyalgia flare-up. Unfortunately, I underestimated the signals my body was sending me. It was fortuitous that I had a telehealth appointment scheduled for that day. Following the consultation, the doctor advised me to head to the hospital, where it was discovered that I was suffering from diverticulitis and sepsis. 

This experience was a stark reminder that even when we believe we know our bodies well, there are moments when we must pay closer attention and seek professional help. Had I not sought medical attention that day, the outcome could have been tragically different.

As I lay in the hospital bed, a profound realization washed over me, prompting a transformative shift in my perspective. Suddenly, the trivial concerns that once consumed my thoughts seemed insignificant. The opinions of others held less weight compared to the value I placed on my own self-perception. I came to recognize and appreciate the essence of my character - a person of integrity who extends kindness and assistance to those around me. Reflecting on this, I felt a sense of compassion towards my younger self, wishing I could impart the wisdom gained through this ordeal and offer her solace and understanding.

Happy, Loved, and Alive

Until recently, my life felt like a constant struggle to get by. Living with Colorado’s cold climate while battling fibromyalgia made each day a challenge. Despite the difficulties, I remained there for as long as possible, caring for my mother and two sons. 

As the children grew up and moved out, new possibilities emerged. The realization dawned that a change was necessary, but the responsibility of caring for my mother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, loomed large. After much persuasion, a decision was made to relocate halfway across the country to a warmer state, a move that not only alleviated physical pain but also presented an exciting new chapter.

Myka Alley with Friend

Admittedly, the relocation wasn't solely driven by the desire for better weather. A longstanding male friend of 29 years significantly influenced the decision. Over the past two years, we had been shuttling back and forth, building a strong bond that led us to contemplate taking our relationship to the next level. Our deep understanding and mutual support made the transition smoother, as we faced the challenges together.

Starting fresh in a new location meant establishing relationships with healthcare providers all over again, ensuring that both my mother and I receive the necessary care and support. Despite the hurdles of navigating a new healthcare system, I have found solace in the fact that as I approach my 50s, I am no longer merely surviving but truly living once more.